Baby talk is cute when grown-ups dote on babies. But when adults converse with each other? Not so much.
Yet in my work as a communication sciences and disorders researcher, I’ve come across studies showing that as many as two-thirds of couples use romantic baby talk.
It may sound strange and elicit cringes, but it’s no disorder. So why do couples do it?
According to the affection exchange theory, which was proposed by the communication researcher Kory Floyd, specific vocal behaviors signal affection. These include the use of a high pitch, exaggerated intonation and a soft voice — traits that just so happen to overlap with the way most people talk to babies.
But there’s another side to the phenomenon: the formation of a special linguistic landscape that’s walled off from the rest of the world, a space for couples to express themselves that’s free from the complexities and customs of routine adult conversations.
The use of “idiosyncratic,” or personalized, communication is an important aspect of close friendships and romantic relationships. A bystander listening in might be flummoxed. But to the couple, it’s a sign of their bond — a boundary that sets them apart from everyone else.
