[Lynn] Wesley, 40, tried to have her own baby through artificial insemination. When that didn’t work, she turned to in vitro fertilization.
She gave birth to a daughter in 2018. That left her with three embryos that went into cold storage with more than a million others kept by families in facilities around the U.S. IVF entails the extraction of eggs from a woman, and, because of advances, doctors are more likely than in the past to implant only one embryo at a time. Higher success rates—the procedure now accounts for an estimated 2% of U.S. births—leave more embryos unused.
Wesley didn’t consider her embryos children. They were potential children, and she wrestled with a question facing other women and families holding on to embryos: What is my duty to them? Her clinic charged more than $500 a year to store embryos, money she felt would be better spent on raising her children. Some people allow their embryos to be used in medical research or decide to discard them. Many pay storage fees for years, putting off decisions.
Wesley decided to donate hers—to other women seeking motherhood. “If I can help them in some way, I think I should,” she said.
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When Wesley told friends she was donating her embryos, some said they couldn’t imagine doing that, knowing they had kids being raised by others. They asked, How would the children feel if they learned you let them go? Would another woman love them as much as you would?
Those are many of the same questions being asked by people who, by circumstance or design, are expanding the boundaries of what constitutes family and kin.
